passing notes in times of war*

i know what you're thinking

[cos' i'm thinking the same thing]

you're wondering
what it is
that you're now looking at

you're wondering now
what it is
you should be looking for

[perhaps a hidden message]

poetry can be so
pretentious
sometimes

the antithesis
of human contact

speaking in morse
in times of peace

words that act out
espionage

and find their way
behind enemy lines

to disarm

[are we at war?]

all of a sudden
we're children again

taking turns
watching each other
watch each other

but this is no game

people get hurt
when people play
for keeps

[this cannot be love] [can it?]

i know what you're thinking

[cos' i'm thinking the same thing]

you're wondering
what it is
that you're now looking at

you're wondering now
what it is
you should be looking for

here the message ends
there are no more
tricks and traps

here
there are
no promises

[we are at war]

but sometimes
humankind can be
so incomprehensibly
stupid

we hold each other
to promises
when all we need
to hold onto
is hope

[here's the important part]

i know what you're thinking
so let me finish

as you're wondering
what it is you are looking at

as you're wondering
what you should be looking for

know that
even in these times of peace
and in these times of war

it is the way
and not the wonder
i am looking for



* Attached is Kurt Kobain's alleged suicide note.
* Upon further reflection, I'm afraid one might interpret this to say that holding one another to promises is "incomprehensibly stupid". The (primary) stupidity I intended to refer to, albeit poorly expressed, is the human desire for certainty, that this existential insecurity sometimes leads us into despair, that it leads us away from hope. The stupidity is forgetting that all we need is hope, that hope is all we need to sustain the will. Because once we affirm our will, then it is (simply) a matter of finding the way. With this in mind, in no way am expressing that I intend to break my promises. Quite the opposite, I am looking for a way to fulfill them.